As the plane begins its final descent, you gaze out the window and consider how nothing could possibly make you feel worse right now than the prospect of rain, an empty fridge at home and work on Monday.
You watch the sweaty sausage fingers next to you release their grip on the in-flight magazine and begin to forcefully slap together, as a handful of stomach-churning individuals erupt into triumphant applause.
But I’m more than aware if I want to do most normal things without looking pathetic, I need to get over myself and get on with it.
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The whole atrocity seems to have become synonymous with budget airlines, and particularly popular among those with shaven heads, “I heart Diane” tattoos and penchants for The Jeremy Kyle Show. It’s becoming all too clear it’s not the extra leg space, Blumenthal dinners or general prestige you’re paying for with the more upmarket carriers: it’s the calibre of people surrounding you, and their graceful behaviour upon landing.
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As if this incident wasn’t bizarre enough, it happened right in front of PDRM’s KL headquarters! He has been in the auto industry since 2006, previously filling the pages of two motoring magazines before joining this website.
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Anyone who genuinely fears air travel to the extent they feel themselves breaking out into involuntary applause should do us all a favour and go to Cornwall instead.