The best thing you can do is to just go ahead and live your life.
(This is a good reason to have more than one girl at a time that you’re gaming – this way you can find easy ways to be busy, and not call the non-responsive target).
Every once in a while, I meet a seasoned professional whose generosity astounds me. Instead of being jaded by the industry, she seeks out new projects with enthusiasm; instead of being guarded from fans, she allows them to get close.
Instead, your frame must always be that you barely noticed that she hadn’t gotten back to you.
If she apologizes unprompted, that’s a good sign, but brush it off like you didn’t even notice. Every fiber of your being will tell you not to use this technique – until you experience it’s power. At some points during kino escalation – often when you go to take off her underwear, but at other times, too – she’ll make you stop.
She fell in love with the talent and humor of Brad “Cheeks” Bell, her web series co-creator on I saw his videos, and I was struck by his humor — the way he performed the pieces, and the way they were written.
I found we had a mutual friend and asked to meet him over a lunch. ’ Then we had lunch and it was clear our senses of humor, our whimsical imaginations, they’re very similar.
It’s just now occurring to me it was marriage equality that started this whole thing! I kind of jumped on board and then we changed the premise, and at that point it was really obvious if we wanted to make the show exactly the way we were envisioning it, the web would give us the greatest chance of doing that It was a perfect fit for their respective talents, and once they added Sean Hemeon as Cheek’s on-air husband, the chemistry popped.
Since “writing with Jane Espenson” is on every TV writer’s Bucket List, I asked her about their process. Cheeks wrote the first draft and then I did a polish, and then he gave notes, and we did that for a while until all we were doing was just tweaking jokes back and forth.
Maybe give her a light peck on the cheek to show you aren’t upset with her. You can bet most other guys haven’t done this with her.
Try it next time you face some last-minute resistance – and watch the results.
The enthusiasm – I thought the crew might sort of go through the motions, but they really all loved the project and got very invested in it.